Friday, January 13, 2012

I Am Back And Looking To New Horizons!

portrait by Tracy Olan http://www.beautifuldayto.com/

Where have I been? Well I have been a busy gal. In September 2011 I moved my office from downtown to mid-town. But that isn't all. I actually went from working on my own to becoming part of a clinic. This is exciting for me because I have worked alone for most of my career and it just seemed that the time was right for me to join a group of other practitioners.

I have moved into the Kingston Integrated Health Care Clinic http://www.kihc.ca/ This is a group of practitioners who specialize in integrated medicine including naturopathy, massage therapy, osteopathy and Reiki. It has been a great experience working with this group of practitioners. They have all been so welcoming and it has been a joy to be amongst people who share my views on wellness.

I am also writing a monthly column for the clinic newsletter entitled Simply Sublime Musings. That has been exciting too. To view the articles you can register with the clinic http://www.kihc.ca/

Last but not least I also have a new website. I needed to be able to lay out all my stuff in one place so now I finally have somewhere to do that so check it out http://www.kayeleepantony.ca/

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

SUBLIME: NEW IN CLASS WORKSHOP SERIES

       Sublime2TEST
         

    Registration begins for the FALL ! 

Sublime the In-Class Workshop Series Fall session begins October 2011  
Join us on a creative journey, using art, guided discussion, and a dash of inspiration.  No experience required!


Learn how to live more fully! This workshop series is designed to teach you about a part of your self that, when integrated, will make you feel complete. Through art exercises and guided discussion we will explore the things that affected and influenced your pre-adolescent self. Discovering and understanding this part of yourself not only benefits you but has a ripple effect: it can benefit the family and community who depend on you to guide them.

OUR GOAL
    What we are going to do in these workshops is learn how to move toward becoming complete and whole. We will work toward integrating, through understanding, a part of ourselves that is often misunderstood and detached.We will use art exercises and guided discussion to explore the things that affected and influenced her. You will leave these workshops with a deeper sense of yourself and the tools to continue to grow. As well as, the artwork and the experience of sharing with a community of women on a similar journey.


QUESTIONS
 Q:    Who should take these workshops?

A:    Any woman who wants to learn more about herself.

Q:    Should you still take them if you didn't like this stage of your life or if you have had trauma during your adolescents?

A:    Yes. I believe that by exploring this stage of your development you will be able to review any of the events that affected you negatively and reassess your original take on them. For example, perhaps what you once defined as weakness was actually bravery. I also think that in doing this course you can heal from earlier difficulties.

 Q: What if I am not very artisit?

 A: You don't need to be an artist to take these workshops. We will use simple art techniques to help us express ourselves

INTRODUCTION

POTENCY
    I believe that the inner adoescent girl is a potent part of every woman. Sadly, as we age we learn to silence her. Western culture allows girls freedom up to a point and then we are taught to conform. We are sucked into a vortex and spit out in an ill fitting barbie suit. We look around and see that everyone is doing as she is told. She is either being a "good" girl or rebelling and being a "bad" girl. One way of another we are in reaction to the annihilation of a very potent self, the early adolescent girl.

    She is the part of us that knows how to have fun. She knows how to be free. She knows how to fight back. She knows how to sing, laugh and dance with abandon. She holds our potential, our hopes and dreams. She doesn't care what you think. She is brimming with her own ideas. She speaks in code to her friends who all understand her even if the rest of us don't. Her energy and vitality unnerve those who do not live as she does. She lives in us all and we need to reclaim and integrate her in order to feel complete and whole. We need to allow her to take her rightful place in our lives. We can call her forth and she will come. We have to drop our agenda and listen to her talk, listen to her energy, vitality and beauty. We must trust her. I believe that she knows what we need even when we don't.


VORTEX
    It seems to me that prior to a girl hitting puberty she is the most free. I read once that a pre-adolescence girl could walk down the street behind her mother doing the King Tut and no-one would pay much attention to her. However, once she hits puberty everything changes. I think of this transition in a girl's life as a vortex. It is a swirling, whirling, force like a whirlpool that she gets pulled into where she is expected to look, sound and behave according to a cultural script.

    Lots of girls are unhappy about their body changing. Lots of girls fight this transition. On some level they know they are losing something important and are being pulled into something bigger and more powerful then themselves. Once they are pulled into the vortex they change, they lose their freedom to be fully themselves. 


BARBIE SUIT
    On the other side of the vortex I think of the girl as being spit out in a barbie suit. What I mean is that she is forced to see how she measures up to a suit that none of us fit into. In other words, is she thin enough, tall enough, blonde enough, pretty enough, pleasing enough...? The barbie suit is a measure of the outside of a girl. It isn't about her inner beauty, strength and character. It is about how she fits into the cultural expectations, i.e., is she sexual enough but not too sexual? Is she the bride or the perpetual bride's maid? Remember that prior to puberty she could walk down the street being goofy and no-one much cared, least of all her. And that is the point, she didn't have to care much about who was watching or judging. She was free to be whatever she felt like being.


    I think that when an adolescent girl first comes out on the other side of the vortex she still has part of herself. She has not been transformed completely by the barbie suit because she still remembers her former freedom. She still knows what she thinks and is ready to share that with everyone. However, people judge her now. They express impatience and irritability when she describes what she sees because a girl with a well-fitted barbie suit would never do that. It is my sense the the thing that upsets us the most about adolescents is that they have not learned to edit themselves. They are notoriously honest when it comes to their opinions of the people around them. And they especially like to  point out when those people are being hypocrites. 

    This is what I call the pissy part of the adolescent girl. I think that this pissy part is an important part of her. I think that this is her way of expressing a loss that she intuitively feels. This loss is felt like a death. However, it is a death without a body. So there is no way to openly mourn. No-one understands what she is crying about. They just chalk it up to hormones. She doesn't know why she is crying either and hasn't got the ability to articulate what she is experiencing. This is the case because what she is experiencing has no name. It isn't called a right of passage. It isn't celebrated as a girls entrance into womanhood. It isn't recognized as a loss. It goes unmarked. When we do not name things we have no power to understand them, never mind change them. 

    This passage into and out the other side of the vortex is about a girl leaving herself behind. She is expected to put away her own ideas. She must stop laughing and singing loudly, and stop dancing with abandon. Now everyone is watching and judging her. She is expected to edit herself at every level in order to please those around her. No longer is she permitted to walk down the street, doing the King Tut, without a care in the world.

 This workshop series is designed to address and name this lose with the intent to reclaim what was left behind: the vitality and beauty of the pre-adolescent girl. Through understanding and integrating this part of ourselves we can feel complete and whole.

KINGSTON SCHEDULE
Sublime #1:Here and Now
Saturday October 15/11
10:00-4:00

Sublime #2: Outside Influences
Saturday November 12/11
10:00-4:00

Sublime #3: Integrating Your Inner Girl
Saturday December 3/11
10:00-4:00

COST: $110.00 per workshop (may be covered through some Extended Health Plans)

(Sublime #1 is a prerequisite for Sublime #2 and #2 is a prerequisite for Sublime #3)
  

For more information email me at kpantony@cogeco.ca

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Transitions

I have not written on this site for a while because I have been posting to my main site http://www.kayeleepantony.typepad.com/

I am definitely in transition. I am trying to expand my offerings and have been consulting with a number of people to help me accomplish this goal. Business is not my speciality so I have had to call on the experts to give me direction.

I have a lot of ideas both for more e-courses and some in-class courses. I am also interested in developing more offerings of a therapeutic nature. It has become clear to me, and the experts who are helping me, that I am the product person. I didn't know what that was until just recently.

When you train in the field of psychology, as I did, business is not typically discussed. So I am learning a bit about the anatomy of a business because I am trying to expand. There are some growing pains because there is a lot to learn. However, the challenge is to maintain perspective and not become overwhelmed. So it is easier to find perspective some days then others but I have found that my excersions into nature have helped me with this issue. So head on over to the main site and see what I have been drawing on to help me with this transition. http://www.kayeleepantony.typepad.com/

Friday, May 13, 2011

In My Own Back Yard

Spring has arrived! I didn't have to wander too far to see the beauty of nature. These happy tulips popped up unannouned. When I looked into my yard there they were. I am not a gardener so I need plants that tell me when they plan to show up! I know they won't hang around for long so I have been watching them as they open during the day and close at night. Nature is fascinating!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Why The Man Code?



Why have I developed The Man Code you ask?

Well I have been doing couple counselling for quite a number of years and I have come to the conclusion that part of the beak down in communication between men and women is due to The Man Code.

The reality is that men and women live according to different codes. This makes communication between us tricky if not down right impossible.

How many times have I had to translate for each partner what the other was trying to say? So often that I can't count, in fact, it is the norm.

Couples often have the same values and philosophies but how they express them is entirely different. So each ends up with the impression that the other doesn't support them.

I feel sad about this communication breakdown. All I want is for couples to fall in love again. And I also want mothers to enjoy their sons again.

I think that if women learned more about the codes that men live by then we would be able to communicate better with them. In addition, I think that we would enjoy them more and they would feel more comfortable talking to us about their world. It is a very rich and fascinating world and it is very different from the world of women.

By learning about The Man Code we can invite the boys and men in our lives to talk to us about how they see the world. When they do this two things happen. First, we gain a perspective that we didn't have before. This perspective will allow us to see them in a new, more receptive, light. Second, they feel like we are giving them permission to be themselves and so they will be more inclined to open up to us. When they do this we all feel more connected and as women we love to feel connected.

So I figure it is a win win situation for everyone. Getting familiar with The Man Code will bring more fun and laughter into your life and laughter is good for our health!

For more information go to http://www.themancode.typepad.com/ or http://www.kayeleepantony.typepad.com/

Friday, April 29, 2011

The Man Code this Spring


Well it is that time of year when we start things fresh. I have had a break from running my e-courses and am ready to start The Man Code again! It was so much fun the last time.I am looking forward to seeing what comes up this time. I have found myself referring back, over the last few months, to things we learned together in this course. It was great to see what others came up with and how easily we shared a laugh or two. I think we all took something new away with us even if it was just an appreciation of the different ways men and women interpret their worlds.

Starting May 9, 2011 I will be running The Man Code again. 

You can register by emailing me at kpantony@cogeco.ca or by going to www.themancode.typepad.com  

For more information check out my main site at http://www.kayeleepantony.typepad.com/

I look forward to learning along with you!



Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Nature

I went for a hike on the Rideau Trail on Easter weekend and saw some marvelous sights. Nature is so amazing. The quiet is deceiving because there is so much going on in the woods. When I was watching where I was walking these delicate little flowers caught my eye. As fragile as they look they clearly had the strength to fight there way through the underbrush!

I am looking at nature in a whole new way since taking my painting course this winter. When I look at some of the photographs I took I can see how I could reproduce elements of them on canvas. So who knows what will reveal itself to us when we embark on a learning journey.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

New Growth

Spring is a time of renewal. It is a time when we see clear signs of change. We watch the buds pop out on the trees. We hear the birds call to each other. We feel the warmth of the sun return to our parched land. All along this renewal was preparing to take place. Under the dry grass lay signs of life just out of our view.

I feel a renewal taking place in me too. I have had a very productive winter and feel lots of chance emerging just under my sight line. I feel it and know it but haven't seen it quite yet. I am expanding and feel both excited and terrified. My challenge is to stay balanced so I don't topple over in either direction. Keeping these two powerful feelings in harmony is not small feat. But I know I am up for it.

I have lots to share but not quite yet. I promise to keep you posted!

Monday, March 21, 2011

March Break

How not to been seen at the Museum of Nature in Ottawa.

Well we did like so many other parents we headed to the museums at march break.

It was just nice to be able to get on the road and not worry about a snow storm putting an end to our journey.

We had some fun visiting family and generally touring around.

Friday, March 11, 2011

The Last Week Of The Man Code E Course

Well this is the last week of my ecourse The Man Code. I released the last assignment this morning. It felt like giving birth-without the pain.

I have really enjoyed this course. I loved putting the material together as well as the class discussion and images.

We had some laughs and some shift in perspective which was the point.

My hope is that we will all go forth and see the man world with a little more humour and curiosity.

I have run my ecourses five times now and I have taken two ecourse at the same time. So I think it is safe to say it is time for a break. I have enjoyed the whole process but now need to sit back and really think about what I have learned. I still plan to run the courses but not right away.

I want to slow down a little and let my brain percolate. I want to see what comes up next. So as I wait for the Spring to come I am deep in reflection, a place I love to be after a very productive time.


Friday, March 4, 2011

The Last Week of My Painting Course

Well this is the last week of the e painting course that I have been taking. This is supposed to be about composition. I don't have any real idea what makes good composition. I just know what I like when I see it.

This was based on a technique that I learned in a real-time painting class that I took last summer. The instructor had us paint a design with black, in this case paynes grey, then put another painting on top of the black. I am sure that she had a better way to describe it then I just did.

I have enjoyed the class because it had me painting every week. Without the class I wouldn't have picked up my paint brush as often. I might have attempted one painting this winter but the class motivated me to keep up with the assignments.

Would I take another e painting course? I guess I would prefer something a little bit more intimate. Given that there were over 300 students I wasn't able to keep track of who was who and who painted what. There were over 300 paintings posted each week! I would like to have gotten to know some of the artists better and perhaps that is more easily achieved in either a smaller class or a real-time class.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Time To Reflect

With the boys safely occupied I was able to skate on my own, take pictures and reflect. What a wonderful opportunity I had to think about all I have learned and experienced this winter.

Designing and constructing e courses has taught me much about how to combine images with ideas. I have discovered how much I love to do this. I knew that I was visual but being able to put my ideas to pictures has opened up a whole new means of expression for me.

Taking e courses has taught me much about how others see. I have learned what it feels like to be a student in the e universe. I have discovered that I like the smaller more intimate classes where I can interact with a handful of other students.

I have also learned this winter that taking art classes and painting regularly makes me feel happy. Funny that I had forgotten just how much pleasure I get from picking up a paint brush.

I watched a video of the artist Milton Glaser www.ted.com/speakers/milton_glaser.html who said, "art is whatever remains". I love that idea.

I also love the idea of using art as a means of accessing what is often not easily put into words. My work as a therapist is often so full of emotion that cannot be adequately articulated.

All of my experiences have influenced my thoughts on the direction that I see my working taking. I want to focus on the development of methods to access and express the unexpressed.

What I want to do is find a way to free the girl within, the woman, men and boys so we can play, enjoy life, to find acceptance and inner peace.

I want us to develop a way of life where we can remain engaged and capable of curiosity indefinitely!

That sounds like a good goal.

Good thing I like something complex to sink my teeth into!

Friday, February 25, 2011

MID-WAY THROUGH THE MAN CODE!

This is a great shot that Tracy Olan http://www.beautifuldayto.blogspot.com/ took for me when I asked her to help me gather images of men for my Man Code ecourse.

Here we are mid-way through The Man Code. We are having lots of fun. We are taking lots of pictures of the ways men live. It is so interesting to go in search of these images and learn what they really mean.

We have had lots of discussion with the men and boys who live amongst us. They have been more then willing to share their opinions on the way they live.

We have also had a few laughs along the way. Some of what we are learning is just plain funny!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Still Painting Away!

Still painting. I finally put brush to canvas and came up with this one. The assignment was to mix paints, not just pull them out of the tube! Well, busted, I do use the colours from the tube most of the time. But there are such great colours. I usually don't get to sit down to paint long enough to mix and complete a project before the paints dry out. So from the tube has be the way to go for me.

I just want to do my art and have even gone as far as using a black sharpe on canvas because I had one kicking around for writing my kids name on his school stuff. I could get in and out of a canvas with a sharpe with minimal mess or fuss. Sometimes you have to be resourceful to be creative!

The course is fun and 300 students strong! So imagine how many paintings there are at this point! In fact, there are so many that it is hard to view them all. All wonderfully creative people and some amazing work.

What is good for me is the assignment. They are making me think in different ways, plus I am painting which I love to do.

This is the last week of Sublime. I have run the course 3 times now. I think the next move for me with Sublime is to give a one day workshop. I hope to do that in the Spring. I may run the ecourse again in the Fall.

The Man Code is in week two. I have had so much fun coming up with the assignments. I have been running around with my camera getting shots of the man world. It is so interesting to see what you find when you really start to look!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

An Update-Finally!

Okay so I have been painting in the ecourse I am taking called Get Your Paint On with Lisa Congdon and Mati McDonough, two talented San Francisco artist. Imagine a painting a week for five weeks! This is week three and I have yet to put brush to canvas but the week isn't over yet.
I have been running Sublime and just launched The Man Code for the second time.
Oh ya, I also have a day job!

So this is painting number one.
They gave us some direction in terms of what to draw on for subject matter but then left the rest up to us.
I love metallic paint so I included it but find it doesn't photograph so well.
I am not so thrilled with this one but did step outside my comfort zone
which is part of the point of taking a painting class!



This one I like a whole lot better.
It is more organic which is my thing.
I am outside my comfort zone again in terms of colours
but did enjoy doing this painting and I am pleased with the results, mostly.


I made a new contact in my little town which I am thrilled about
Robin www.robinwestphal.blogspot.com check her out.
I think you will see some collaboration come from the pair of us. I'll keep you posted!

I am telling you, running ecourse is a blast.
I love the course development stage the best I think.
It is so much fun to link my ideas with images and assignments.
Of course I really enjoy the students too. After all the material is for them.

Taking an ecourse is also lots of fun. Last month is was Winter Girl with Tracy Olan www.beautifuldayto.blogspot.com and this month it is www.getyourpainton.typepad.com

I guess this is the year of ecourses for me.
I am learning a lot and enjoying the many challenges both running and taking them.
The learning curve for me this past year has been enormous!
That is what I love best though, learning! So I am one happy girl!

Oh I gotta go now cause I have to paint, run my courses, answer my messages, see my clients, feed my family...and slow down...all with a smile on my face!


Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Why The Man Code?




Why have I developed The Man Code you ask?

Well I have been doing couple counselling for quite a number of years and I have come to the conclusion that part of the beak down in communication between men and women is due to The Man Code.

The reality is that men and women live according to different codes. This makes communication between us tricky if not down right impossible.

How many times have I had to translate for each partner what the other was trying to say? So often that I can't count, in fact, it is the norm.

Couples often have the same values and philosophies but how they express them is entirely different. So each ends up with the impression that the other doesn't support them.

I feel sad about this communication breakdown. All I want is for couples to fall in love again. And I also want mothers to enjoy their sons again.

I think that if women learned more about the codes that men live by then we would be able to communicate better with them. In addition, I think that we would enjoy them more and they would feel more comfortable talking to us about their world. It is a very rich and fascinating world and it is very different from the world of women.

By learning about The Man Code we can invite the boys and men in our lives to talk to us about how they see the world. When they do this two things happen. First, we gain a perspective that we didn't have before. This perspective will allow us to see them in a new, more receptive, light. Second, they feel like we are giving them permission to be themselves and so they will be more inclined to open up to us. When they do this we all feel more connected and as women we love to feel connected.

So I figure it is a win win situation for everyone. Getting familiar with The Man Code will bring more fun and laughter into your life and laughter is good for our health!

For more information go to http://www.themancode.typepad.com/ or http://www.kayeleepantony.typepad.com/

Friday, February 4, 2011

The Man Code

Well. This is the last week for The Man Code and it was so much fun that I have already arranged to run it again. This time it will be a photo-journalism ecourse.

This photo-journalism journey is designed to open your eyes to the world of boys and men.

All too often we think that they see, or at least should see, the world as we do. But the truth is they don't!

Our communication with men and boys breaks down simply because what we are describing is put through very different filters depending on whether you are male or female.

The goal in this e course is to learn how men see the world around them. Through photography, and some journaling about our observations, we will learn just where the differences between us lie.

In this photo-journalism course I will post three photo challenges a week where you will be asked to look for specific evidence of the way of life of men and boys. You will be asked to add some commentary to your photographs and in the spirit of fun we will share our findings on our flickr group site.

You don't have to be a photographer to take this course. You don't even need a fabulous camera, even a cell phone camera will do. Nor do you need to be a great writer. All you have to do is be willing to join us for four weeks and learn what The Man Code filter is and how it works.

 I guarantee that you will learn something you didn't know before about boys and men!

To Register you can contact me at kpantony@cogeco.ca

It will start on February 14, 2011 and run for 4 weeks, until March 11, 2011. The cost will be $39 (reduced from $99) until the start date.

So come on out and join us for a bit of fun and learning!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

SNOW DAY!

Well in the not so sunny North, the city that I live in has basically shut down. It is an official Snow Day. That means that all the schools were closed and all the kids are happily playing at home! As for the rest of us we are trying to plug away... The above is a shot from my desk at home in the basement where I normally look up to the street. Well not to the street today because of the snow! Good thing I am not claustrophobic!

I am fortunate enough to work for myself so I was able to cancel my sessions for the day and stay home with my son. However, given that I am running two e courses, which means that snow or not I can show up, I was able to show up to do that work today.

The snow shows no signs of slowing down so I think there will be a big dig out tomorrow morning as we all try to resume our regular daily schedules. Keep you fingers crossed for us!

Monday, January 31, 2011

End of Winter Girl

I just completed taking an ecourse called Winter Girl with my friend Tracy Olan, http://www.beautifuldayto.blogspot.com/  It was wonderful and I will miss her beautiful images and inspirations. However, she has left me with an awakened sense of my surroundings even in this frozen land where nothing grows except the cold at this time of year.

I am currently signed up to take another ecourse, this time a painting course with Lisa Congdon and Mati Rose. I am excited. These gals are based in San Fransisco. I'll keep you posted on my progress with this one.

Still running Sublime and The Man Code. They are moving along nicely. The Man Code will be done at the end of this week and then I will run it again on February 14, 2011. This time I will run an Introduction to The Man Code and it will be more of a photo journalism course then the one I am currently running. It should be lots of fun.

What have I learned? I really enjoy using this medium to get out there. There seems to be no end of possibilities. I can be creative, offer guidance and build community all at the same time. What more could a girl want?

Friday, January 28, 2011

My Birthday

Well it was my birthday yesterday and guess what arrived from my snow bird parents! Yes some sunshine. Aren't these beautiful. Right now it is snowing here and there isn't much in the way of color except if you count white and gray as colors!

I had a very special day. I started with a massage. Next I had bruch with a very lovely and talented friend, who managed to blow my mind open yet again with more wonderfully creative ideas!

Then home to a lovely dinner that my husband and kids put on for me. After that we watch The Curious Life and Benjamin Buttons. It seemed an appropriate movie since it was all about aging!

Cheers All!